I’ve decided that I want to make this post a little different from my previous posts and be completely honest. Figured I should talk about my entire experience of living abroad as opposed to just the fun happy experiences that I usually get to have.
For the past week or so, I have just been feeling very down and stuck in a funk that I just can’t get myself out of. The hardest part about this is that I can’t discover why I am feeling the way that I am right now. I don’t feel needed. I don’t feel important. And most of all, I don’t feel excited. Slight changes are affecting me much more than usual and I just don’t feel like my usual self. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been here for over 3 ½ months now and the newness has worn off and this is my normal daily life now and not exciting. Or perhaps I just need to get out of the city and be in a different environment. Or it could be as simple as I just need to go for a run or write my feelings down so I can move past this. But whatever the reason is, I still want to share with you how I’m feeling.
When I take a step back and look at my life at the moment, there isn’t much to be upset about and I do realize this. I have a job that I actually enjoy and it pays well, my life is the least stressful it’s been in a very long time, I’m following my dreams of living abroad, and I’m surrounded by some incredible people. If there are so many positives in my life, then why am I not feeling that way?
After debating this question over and over in my head, I finally came to the conclusion that the answer is simple: this is life. Life is full of ups and downs, and everyone experiences these regardless of whether it seems justified or not. Yeah it’s easy to experience a high when just moving to a new country and exploring new places and meeting new people. However, it’s incredibly unrealistic to expect that high to continue forever or at least for the entire year that I am here in South Korea. And we would all expect to be in a low when experiencing a loss in either our lives or one of those closest to us. Sometimes we forget that there are days where you are just going to feel down for absolutely no reason at all, and being abroad doesn’t change this. Life is life and you are still going to have the same struggles regardless of where you are geographically and coming to this conclusion makes me realize how naïve I can be at times. Luckily, when I am having these moments, life is right there and more than happy to give me a little wake up call. Although, at the moment I’m not sure I would say this is lucky.
I don’t want anyone reading this to start worrying about me; because honestly I am fine- family I promise I am fine! At the moment, I can truthfully say that I love my life and wouldn’t change it for anything. I am following my dreams and never thought I would be able to live halfway across the world while getting a paycheck at the same time. Yes, I’m in a funk but I also love my life, which is a weird concept that I can’t quite wrap my head around. Hopefully, now that life has opened my eyes to something that we all know, I will be able to get back to being normal Kim. It’s weird that we sometimes forget the most basic concepts. And if that doesn’t do the trick, this coming weekend is a holiday so I’m sure being at the beach will help!
Sorry if this wasn’t as entertaining as the normal posts but I want to share the whole experience with y’all which is going to include the good and the bad. And to answer the question that is probably going through your head right now- Yes, I already feel a little better!